Fall in love

Looking to others, I have many flaws. But facing me, I have one horrible. Attempt for actively and passively not make the same mistakes. But this is unavoidable.
I fall in love. I fall in love for people who act differently from what they say. Not that it hurts, because sometimes even give me time to feel them. I don’t know if I fall in love for what they are or their expectations, their eyes or their very different ways of looking me. I don’t know if I give more importance to the way they talk or spend time listening to my voice. I dream with others who barely know, I fall for smiles that I will probably not see again, and bits of soul, of remnants that I keep in a drawer to let myself feel, in the distance, from time to time.
And the problem is this. I feel overly at the wrong moment, and when I must feel because it’s time, I have no more to give.
I’m afraid of people who pretend to be specials, I’m afraid to allow enter my life, if maybe they take something that is mine and at night I feel empty and not even I have the courage to ask.
I feed on details, and it breaks my heart when I need it, may not  keep up.